google77f0b0fb9dc72546.html How to Get Over a Fear and Find Confidence Through an Unexpected Oppor – SixChel

Sold at The Canvas by Querencia Studio | 132 Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11249

How to Get Over a Fear and Find Confidence Through an Unexpected Opportunity


A year ago, I was living in a cloud of confusion, self-doubt and lacked confidence in all I did, but staying on task brought an unexpected opportunity that made me confront a fear and just in time for my 40th birthday.

2019 marked a milestone I never thought I would reach and definitely never thought I would go through without my sister by my side - you truly never get over the loss of a loved one. So as the year began, I truly didn't have excitement for it at all. It seemed there wasn't one thing in my life that brought excitement and bliss until an unexpected opportunity came through a few days into the new year that brought a wave of emotions that ultimately led me to get back on my feet.

An Unexpected Opportunity

The sustainable/ethical fashion industry has a great community that truly does want all to find success and because of this great vibe, I was introduced to a writer for a national magazine. Lisa, who writes for First for Women, was looking for someone who had experience with the side effects of wearing synthetic fabric. I quickly shared my experience along with my personal opinions and we had a great conversation about it. It was a great reminder of why ethical fashion is important and thought it would be amazing if my experience could help others. But I never anticipated what was to come.
Wait. What? Photograph me? Being someone who is used to being behind the scenes, this was not something I was, too thrilled about and the fear of being in front of the camera began to set in.
One morning as I read my email in bed, I got the news from Lisa that her editor okayed the story of my experience. Excitement ran up and down my body until I got to the part that said, "we’ll have to photograph you for the article". Wait. What? Photograph me? Being someone who is used to being behind the scenes, this was not something I was, too thrilled about and the fear of being in front of the camera began to set in.

One of My Biggest Fears

                          Photo: @jetta312217

There are just some people that can stand in front of a camera and have every shot be a gorgeous image of them - I have never been that person. Just the thought of having anything but my words and/or ideas being the focal point has me riddled with anxiety. Why? I'm not exactly sure. It could be because I have never looked like anyone who has ever appeared in the glossy pages of a magazine or it could be that when I was young, my sister was labeled the beautiful one and I was labeled the smart one. Whatever the reason is, I knew it would be just plane dumb to let my fear ruin a great opportunity not only for SixChel, but also to tell the masses about the dangers of wearing clothes made out of synthetic fabric. I knew I had to do something to overcome this fear and looked deep into my resources.

We have the power and control to create the atmosphere we need to thrive - it is all a mindset and it begins with us.

What I Did to Overcome this Fear

I'm a newsletter and digital magazine junky because I love to read about the experiences of real people and learn from the women who have been there and done that. Going through my plethora of "empower women" articles and podcasts, I came to the realization that yes, everyone has been right after all and we are what is the root to our feelings. We have the power and control to create the atmosphere we need to thrive - it is all a mindset and it begins with us.

I incorporated the following three practices in my daily life to put myself in control and I slowly began to feel the weight of my fears and anxieties fall away.

1. Watch the words you speak to yourself

According to Goop, "Some of us are in the habit of using the same negative words over and over again out of habit. The problem is that the more we hear, read, or speak a word or phrase, the more power it has over us". -Habib Sadeghi 

Tip: Write down, save, copy & paste into notes all the positive words your friends, family or colleagues have ever said to you. Read them over and over and over again until you naturally repeat these true and positive words to yourself, ultimately believing them.

2. Surround yourself with the right people 

Photo: @lalori 

“When it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced — whether we like it or not — by those closest to us. It affects our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions. Of course, everyone is their own person, but research has shown that we're more affected by our environment than we think". -Aimee Groth, Business Insider

Tip: Make sure the people you are interacting with on a daily basis have a purpose and a positive impact on your life. You feel good when the people around you show their gratitude and love towards you - it's contagious.

3. Stay Present

"Present-moment awareness involves monitoring and attending to current experience rather than predicting future events or dwelling on the past. Studies show that an individual’s disposition toward remaining in the present moment is linked to numerous health benefits including  lower levels of perceived stress, anxiety and depression, improved mood, and a sense of improved well-being". -B Grace Bullock, PhD for Mindful
Tip: My mind wanders all time and it has been difficult for me to stay present, but telling myself to stay in the now helps. For example, if I'm driving and thinking of all of the problems I have yet to solve in my life, I take a few deep breathes and focus on the music blasting on the radio. Though it's only a few short minutes, this gives me time to calm myself down and think rationally. 

"The problem is that the more we hear, read, or speak a word or phrase, the more power it has over us". -Habib Sadeghi 

Yes, all of this sounds way, too easy and a bit trivial, but I will tell you as I told myself, it won't hurt to try. These were just a few things that truly did get me through a time that I never wanted to face and are practices I still continue to use. Speaking positive words to myself, surrounding myself with like-minded people and staying present in the moment gave me the confidence to step in front a camera, celebrate the woman I have become at 40 and got me back to the person I was.


Leave a comment


Please note, comments must be approved before they are published